Do you know that the story you keep telling yourself becomes your identity?
Your beliefs influence everything you do, say, think and experience.
Your beliefs are very powerful, and they have the power to build or destroy.
The problem is, the majority of us started ‘writing’ our self-limiting stories long before we could write... Many of us got their stories written for them. The story became our identity and until we stop and start questioning these stories, they will become unconscious driving forces, limiting our lives.
One of my self-limiting stories, I came to believe in, was my father’s Polish saying: ‘fish and kids have no voice’.
And it doesn’t matter if he meant it half-jokingly – my young brain took it as truth.
I also took it very personally.
I grew up believing I had nothing interesting to say, moreover, my opinion wasn’t required, wanted even. I remember avoiding stating my point of view in public like it didn’t matter. ‘Nobody wanted to hear it after all’. That led to me to doubt whether I actually had any point of view…
This false self-belief impacted most of my life. Missed opportunities, missed connections, regrets and feelings that I was ‘losing myself’ drifting further and further away from my true identity, from my true voice that wanted to be heard, set free.
And ironically, I can easily see how my withdrawal from group settings, where I would feel most inadequate, could be perceived as stand offish, stuck up even... I can see the sad reality of how one false identity can create another.
Luckily, when I needed it most, I was blessed with a special friend whose one simple sentence had cracked my false identity open.
He simply said, ‘you are a gift to this world,” and I believed him.
It was like a reboot to my system, an oxygen mask, a spark to the fire that so wanted to burn.
And this simple sentence ignited a new belief, a true belief that became a driving force in creating a new identity based on truth, love, compassion, and self-worth.
I keep saying this sentence to my girls every single day. And I repeat it to myself when I need a boost.
We are all gifts to this world.
We need to hear it, and our kids are desperate to know it. We all need to believe it.
The words we choose have power, let’s choose them wisely.
Let’s build not destroy.
Our brain doesn’t know if we put ourselves down ‘jokingly’.
It believes it. And the more we do it will become our identity.
We create our own reality.
And finally, let’s be the sparks to other people’s fires, you never know when your one sentence may change someone’s entire life.
What is your identity? What is your empowering statement?
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